Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
