You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I understand Curling. That high.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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