WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize