I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
