That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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