apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
