I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
