Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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