Its about making memories worth repressing
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
