Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
