He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
