Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Drake has all the answers
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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