i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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