very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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