But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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