i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
