You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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