Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
