Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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