the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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