idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
