first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
