But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
