She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
