best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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