dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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