Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
