i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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