I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
