I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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