I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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