Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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