I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
