i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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