Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
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I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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