Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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