No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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