You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
