I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
thus making me awesome and them whores
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
