that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
