so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Randomize
