oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
