non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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