remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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