6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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