So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
nutella sex= disaster
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
