Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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