reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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