Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Randomize
