So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
