mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize