Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
