YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
