So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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