I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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