dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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